Tired

I’m tired.

Tired of this war inside my head, instead of living, I’m stuck between these four walls.

Have you ever noticed how small you appear, lying flat on the ground in a closet with your conscious hovering near?

What utter fear it is to live in your subconscious. To walk around through life and feel nothing but admonished; by your thoughts.

I’m tired.

Tired of explaining why I’m  sad, only to end up even more mad, because how do you explain the inexplainable ; the joy they want you to proclaim, may not be attainable.

I’m tired.

Tired of making great strides, only to find that these strides are masked with lies from my subconscious; mind.

How do you find the strength to remind yourself that this is only temporary, when you feel so out of the ordinary, and your blinded by tears?

I’m tired. Tired of these lows that take major blows to my will. What is the deal with this mind? No peace  will I find, says my subconscious.

I’m tired.  But the tears won’t persist, they soon cease and desist, and I’m left with my conscious; mind.  It returns and then no more do I yearn for peace.  I’m whole, in one piece, until life happens and then again I must meet my subconscious.

I’m tired.

But because of a glimmer of light that still shines through the darkness, I press on to repeat this cycle, regardless.

* Honesty is freedom.  Still enduring a hard moment right now, but it’s OK not to be ok.  Though it seems very permanent and unrelenting in the moment, we have to believe and have faith that this hardship is only temporary.  That’s how we survive.  By speaking life, I’m starting to feel better already.

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