I’ve said this to my husband a million times over,
Sometimes, it’s not you or the family that motivates me to keep pressing forward, but it’s you, the reader.
There may only be one of you that read my words or maybe I’m just enamored with the thought that I am encouraging at least one person to keep fighting, but when I’m at my lowest, wondering what is the point of my suffering, YOU motivate me.
You motivate me, because when I think about how precious your life is, how amazing your intricate makeup is, to make you you, I feel a little strength to keep fighting and keep writing; to keep being as real and open as possible, so that you feel, in the words of my dear friend, “that I’m doing good”, even at your lowest.
There are horrid lows of depression, and also ‘gifts of depression’, in the wise words of my therapist.
The gift is that thing that makes you hold on when you want to give up, trust me I’ve been there. You get tired of fighting and feel like this world doesn’t need you, but how can that be true when you were made so wonderfully.
Your heart beats, because there is purpose for you. It may not be clear what that purpose is, but the clouds will part enough, one day, for you to see that purpose.
So keep fighting.
And that is why I keep fighting, because I know what it’s like to be so low that you can only see rain, but it’s those like you that have helped me hold on when I read your precious words, so it’s only logical that I pay it forward.
So, this open letter is to you, the you that has read my blog from the beginning, or the you that has never read my blog, if only but one sentence.
I thank God for you, and please keep fighting.